I grew up in ever-changing fan culture and parasocial relationships/interactions sucks.
In 2014, it was an internet personality where you just see them post something and just enjoy the content. You don’t really bond with them but just admire the character they present. This was my experience in the Dan and Phil fandom. I just watch the content, watch their liveshows as the characters ‘Dan and Phil’ and interact with them as the character. We rarely see what they’re like behind the scenes. Their livestreams are usually just Q&A’s and I think that’s great.
Then in 2018, there is some connection between creator and fan. The fan can contact/get in touch with those involved in a piece of content and depending on who you are, it’s friendly and professional. You get to learn more about a thing you enjoy. This was my experience in the LazyTown and Club Penguin community where I got in touch with people who worked on the thing and it’s great. I get to learn more about the thing I enjoy.
But now… in 2021, I’m slowly seeping into this new form of fandom culture where it’s a parasocial relationship. Where celebrities and influencers ‘pretend’ to be your friend but they’re not.
And I hate it.
What’s a parasocial relationship?
Parasocial relationships have been a thing for a while but in the recent era of livestreams on Twitch and YouTube, and apps like OnlyFans, there is now an illusion between fan and creator. Creators are ‘friendly’ with the audience, and the audience thinks that there may be a chance that they may become friends with them.
But in reality, it’s rarely gonna happen. There is no relationship or friendship being formed. You can try to reach out and try but eventually, you will soon realize that’s not the case.
And I hate it.
How parasocial interactions affect fan culture
ALTAs someone who’s been immersed to fan culture since 2014, there was a clear indication between fan and creator. You know nothing is going to happen, you’re just watching a creator, and the chances of them noticing you are slim (unless they’re a small creator).
There is a reason why ‘senpai noticed me’ became an ongoing term in some fandoms – because it’s a huge deal! You feel a dose of dopamine rushing through you as you’re starstruck that they acknowledge your existence… even if it’s for a short time.
And the feeling of starstruck expands during meet and greets because you never know you’ll meet them and they mean so much to you in one way or another.
Now let’s take it to the current era of fan culture where the lines of friendship are being blurred.
These people will read your comments and acknowledge your existence more than once. They have a Discord server and you have a chance to chat with them in real-time. If you’re lucky, they join the voice chat and hang out. They don’t act like a character, they’re being themselves. And slowly, you think to yourself ‘maybe this person and I could be friends’.
So you try to do it. But eventually, you feel like it’s all one-sided… lonely… like it’s not the same.
The worst part is when they start begging for money.
Twitch leaks and the public’s reaction
A few weeks ago, live stream platform Twitch had a massive leak and in the data that was shown, details of the streamer’s monthly payout were revealed. These were from subs and bits that were given to the creators, excluding sponsorships, merchandise, etc.
Some of the reactions found on social media showed people mocking fans who ‘donated to millionaires’.
It is one thing to support creators since you’re enjoying their content and want to see them grow but it is another when these guys pretend to be your friends, beg for money, not realizing they’re well off. However, the other side of this leak argument is that only a few creators on the platform make above minimum wage.
The point of concern is that you may argue you’re supporting someone but if you’re some broke kid donating $5 every month for some form of interaction… it’s quite sad.
It’s literally a pay-to-win ‘notice me sempai’.
So why do I hate it?
As a creator
I create content for fun. But I did go on Twitch to learn how to talk in a live broadcast and observe my body language.
I had people sub to me and interact and I had to be nice since they support me. In fact, I try to entertain them with wacky stuff if needed.
The problem is the trolls and those who like to make things hard for me. I have to act friendly but at the same time, try to be firm with them saying that I’m not gonna tolerate this. The worse part is that ‘I’m a girl’ and girls don’t have it easy usually on Twitch. We get sexist remarks and sometimes, flirting that’s close to borderline sexting.
But I enjoy Twitch regardless and as long as the audience knows I’m here to have fun and they want to have fun too, it’s gucci.
But also right, I don’t like begging my viewers for money. I believe they need to save that money for something else, especially if they’re kids. So whenever I see sub notifications and donations, I get excited but also, I feel bad because it doesn’t feel right. They don’t need to pay me for anything. I even tell them that. But the response is the same – ‘You deserve it. You make it fun and casual’.
I needed a break from Twitch due to burnout from my studies and streaming and I’m still exploring how will I continue doing this without needing to exploit people.
BTW – I don’t earn much on twitch subs. My current earnings would probably get me a meal in McDonalds.
As a fan
As a fan, it feels like I’m this weird gacha game where I have a chance to be friends with someone.
I suffer from social anxiety and I’m trying to beat it by trying to be brave and taking deep breaths. But I also did grow up in a crazy fan culture setting so getting used to the new culture is super weird.
Looking at how much ‘supporting your fave creator’ is much more expensive than what it was before. In the past, you can either support them on Patreon, or buy their merch/music, or watch them live. They’re one-off payments.
Now, we have the YouTube join button where it’s basically paid subscription starting at $5 to $30 AUD. We also have Twitch subs and bits where it also cost bits of money. And if you want them to respond to your message, the starting cost for that vary from $1 and onwards if you want the message to stay up longer.
IT’S PAID SUBSCRIPTION FOR FAN INTERACTION!!!
Also… gotta love how in YouTube, the top tier subscription is literally similar to the cost of Adobe Creative Cloud under an education discount.
The hype
Some people, they’re able to resist the temptation. But for others, they want a chance.
So what happens when the ‘push for support’ becomes really hyped. Like you’re being pressured to do it without knowing it. You think it’s like you’re being motivated to join this exclusive club but in reality, you’re being pressured to give up $5.
List of reasons why I don’t enjoy 24-hour streams that are join-a-thons or sub-a-thons – a marathon of creators streaming longer in exchange for you to pay them to stay up longer.
I am a victim of parasocial fan culture but I will learn from it.
The moment I realize how deep I was in this parasocial relationship, the sadder I was. I knew I was spending to having them respond to my messages or to acknowledge my existence. But in the end, I learned that nothing is going to happen. I highly doubt they’d want to be friends with me. If they did, there would be some effort.
I’m still supporting the creator. But I now changed my sub-settings to the low their one as it’s all I can afford. I mean, beats giving my money to a Chinese gaming company.
Plus I’m still supporting them in other ways… probably not the ideal way they’re hoping for to do it but not my problem. I mean… I don’t miss out on much right?
And me using my experience as a fan may teach me how to use my influence in the future as a creator. I don’t want to guilt or pressure people to support me. I want them to enjoy the content I made for free and support me in other ways like listening to my music or just pressing subscribe.
Being a victim in a parasocial relationship sucks and I will try as a creator to not let my audience be fooled on it as well. No one needs to fall under the illusion that they’re friends with someone, it’s not right. If I want to be friends with someone, it will be explicit. No one needs to pay for my time. And if they want to support me monetary wise, that’s their choice. I will not push them to do it.
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