I want to create a fun post, something to distract me from reality (especially now cuz… aaaa). So today, I want to share a dumb fantasy I had for a while – WHAT IF I WAS IN THE MASKED SINGER AU.
I know it will be a LONG SHOT for me to be in the Masked Singer. I first thought it was impossible but when one of the runner ups of Season 1 was a Channel 10 journo, I thought to myself ‘I have a chance!’.
What is The Masked Singer?
For those who have no idea what the show is, basically – a bunch of celebrities from your own country dress up and sing in front of a jury to guess who you are. They give out clues in each show, some that are obvious (looking at you Sophie Monk) and some that really… really cryptic (looking at you Simon Price – I thought you were Murry).
It was originally from a show from South Korea called ‘King of Masked Singer‘ where singers don’t go full body cosplay but just heavily covered their face.
The show is quirky, funny, entertaining, and it has to be the best reality show I’ve ever watched. Prior to this would be, Eurovision, then the FIRST teen edition of Pinoy Big Brother, Season 1 of Masterchef AU, then 2012 The Block.
If I were in the Masked Singer, how will it go down?
The ground rules
We need to set up the ground rules as different shows have different set ups. The Masked Singer is produced not only in Australia but also in America and other parts of Europe. And depending on where it is aired will vary on how I will look like, which songs I can sing, set up, etc.
However, looking at the Dutch version, I think they’re also restricted to singing in English as well… I guess??? But a lot of the songs are from Eurovision.
So this is how it will go down for me:
- We will follow the Masked Singer Australia format meaning the clues are in-person/greenscreen, no animations
- All the songs HAVE TO BE IN ENGLISH (Official English versions are allowed if the song was sung in another language)
- You can not sing your own song
- Full body cosplay
- Gender roles are broken as proven by Bushranger in season 2
- You can create a storyline or persona (eg: what Kate Miller-Heidke did in Masked Singer Season 2) or just intertwine your life experience to your character.
The costume
After giving it some thought, I want to create someone that shows some character development throughout the season. I don’t want to stick with one persona, I want the people to grow with the character, that way they follow their journey though the show.
So for this, I thought to myself ‘what kind of creature has character development?’ and I came up with one…
CYBORG!
A half-human, half-robot creature who’s journey throughout the show is trying to find their humanity. The costume would somewhat be inspired by the Megaman.EXE animation series, Power Rangers, and Robocop.
So you know, something not too heavy that I can easily walk in but also something that people may think I’m a dude when in reality… I’m not. So I assume so many sequins, some metal, and I will be wearing a unitard/gimp suit without the head.
Ngl – when I used to work in retail and have a short haircut, I had kids asking me if I’m a dude since I don’t wear skirts.
Also, the costume and the story is a clue as its a reference to a Club Penguin song.
The clues
The clues need to match the story I want to put together for the cyborg character. When Kate Miller-Hiedke was in the Masked Singer, she said that she’s creating the ‘Vengeful queen’ persona. When Georgi Coghlan was in the Masked Singer in Season 1, she said she wanted to express her vulnerability. I’m thinking of merging the two concepts.
The clues will revolve around being made overseas somewhere in Asia and shipped to Australia (migration to Australia) for one purpose and my fight to do something else (my folks wish for me to be a teacher or a nurse but my choice to work in Journalism). It will also be an inner battle about my self-identity and going through so many challenges to find it (bullying story and my journey through university). It will also talk about love, questioning if robots can even love but when you find someone who can see you through your flaws, it doesn’t matter (my demisexuality). And somewhere in the end, it will mention how it doesn’t matter how much I wish I were made differently, I choose my own purpose and will go from there (mental health).
You get the idea. It’s dumb I know… but it something.
As for the ‘personal item’ clue where I’m tasked to bring something I own, I might make the item something obvious since I will be cryptic af. For that, I will showcase the ukulele that’s signed by YouTubers and say something around the lines off ‘the people on this ukulele helped with my personal development’.
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The songs
Oh boy, this is my favorite part… the songs. The songs will have to match the story I’m going for and hopefully, Channel 10 will allow these songs to be aired. I say this because I heard stories on how Networks that air shows like The Voice, where you can’t really choose the song you want to sing and the network has chosen some for you.
If I remember correctly, I think I can sing up to 6-7 times if I make it to the finals. So I need to be really selective on what I want to perform.
These are the songs I have in mind and why.
1. I did something bad – Taylor Swift
This song is a clue – the bullying. It’s not really a clue that will be easily picked up on but its more for the viewers at home. I want to build the expectation that I’m bad and that I will hurt people even if I didn’t mean to. But in the eyes of the cyborg, it’s a protective mechanism. Just like my battle with bullying, I wish I had the ability to hurt people back but was too weak to do so. The background would have some matrix code and there would be lots of strobe lights (so not good if you have epilepsy).
Originally, I wanted to sing Hatrid Mun Sigra by Hatari as the introduction song, even if it means translating the song but… it does kinda break the rules since it’s not in English nor has an official English version. Also… I tried singing it in English once and… it was terrible. So terrible that I removed it off YouTube.
2. Rewrite the Stars – The Greatest Showman
This song was selected as part of the cyborg’s wish to change their destiny. A rule of robots is that they’re programmed to do their task. Except, it’s not really a robot, they’re also human. They want to be a human, live life but they can’t due to how society doesn’t see cyborgs as a human, just a machine with human parts. They don’t want to lose hope.
Also, we can sing duet songs as a solo since we can have backup singers.
But if I can’t sing this song due to the fact that I need a co-singer and total eclipse of the heart was able to pass as a solo, my other option would be 1944 by Jamala. Let’s have some Eurovision in there!
3. Wait for It (Mixtape Version) – Hamilton
NGL, I just chose this song because it’s my favourite song in Hamilton, which could also be a clue since I will be seeing Hamilton the 3rd time (first was in the UK, 2nd was in Disney+, 3rd will be in Australia). It’s just a good song it would be a huge honour to sing it.
How it relates to the story of the cyborg… not really sure to be completely honest. I guess, they started feeling human, knew that life exists and want to live it, even if they have to wait for that time to come. Maybe if they wait, a life that they wanted will come.
Holy toledo that hit close to home.
I don’t have a backup if I’m told that I can’t sing it. I really like the song and it’s one of my favorites. And even if I did, it’s just gonna be a song from another musical – more likely to be either in Wicked, Frozen (The Broadway Musical), or The Spongebob Musical.
4. Army of Love – Bella Santiago
I know the rule is ‘The song has to be in English‘ but they don’t have to air the rap. They tend to cut the songs short due to air time and a majority of the songs are in English. The clue in this song is the fact that I’m Filipino if they do air the rap or if people researched who sung the song. This is now the cyborg’s battle to fight for love, for freedom. That the self-hate needs to end. You can no longer wait for it to let it happen.
The idea is fighting for what you believe in.
If I had things my way though, I’d want to sing Hallelujah by Bamboo. I want to sing a song from a Filipino/Filipina artist. Sadly, a lot of the songs that I know are Tagalog or are majority in English but with a Tagalog rap. Also, if I had things my way and was told I can perform this, it would be great since I was supposed to sing this song for my school’s multicultural day but wasn’t due to Music HSC Performance.
5. Something Human – Muse
This is the melancholy part of the story where the cyborg just has one wish, to be human. I guess this is the part of the show where the strong and powerful acts are toned down.
I think the biggest giveaway if I were to perform the song is probably that I would like to perform the song using my ukulele. An alternative to this song would be ‘Part of Your World’ by the Little Mermaid. That song will be a HUGE GIVEAWAY due to the nature of my name. I really don’t want to sing this song though due to the HIGH EXPECTATION people will have on me just to sing it.
Both songs still give off the same message.
6. Dynamite – BTS
This is leading up to the happy conclusion of the story of the cyborg. They’re finding positivity and love in their life. This song is in relation to my interest in K-pop, esp for BTS. I’m so glad this song was entirely in English, makes my job easier.
I guess, by this point, the cyborg found freedom and love and is now engaging in pop-culture and things that ‘people enjoy’ using ‘research’. You need to know they’re still a robot, so they’re still learning.
But if they won’t allow me to sing Kpop, surely they’ll be fine if I sung something from an Icelandic artist. I would sing ‘Think about things’ by Dadi Freyr. This song got really popular internationally, esp in the USA.
7. Dragostea Din Tei (English Version) – Ozone
Yes, that song has an official English version! But if they don’t like it, We can use Version 2 of the song which got remade in English back in 2018.
This would be the last son during the grand final, where it doesn’t matter if I win or lose, I want to end it with a bang… even if it means singing a meme song. I just want to sing something fun and no one can stop me (except the Network).
This is the part of story where the cyborg goes ‘full human’ by no longer being heartless or merciless. Instead, they’re more fun-loving and celebratory rather than cold and restraint. It’s the end of the story for the cyborg but it’s just the beginning. They’re still learning how to live, but they’re getting there.
And yeah, that’s how I’d picture how it would be like if I was in the Masked Singer. This was just something fun to think about and imagine and I thought why not give it a crack. Yeah, me being in it will be a long shot but hey, it is something fun and a great distraction from reality.
So if many years down the path and the world hasn’t engulfed in flames this show still exists, and you see a pink and silver robot in a unitard perform, then it’s more likely to be me…
… or someone stealing my idea… who knows.
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